


i will feel a glow (just thinking of you you)

by gilligankane



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 100 Ways to Say I Love You Writing Challenge, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 15:56:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10620216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilligankane/pseuds/gilligankane
Summary: "I just..." Nicole suddenly feels silly. She smiles and looks down. "That dress. It looks really good on you."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Again, from a prompt on Tumblr that said: "that looks good on you". Instead, I have done: 3 times Nicole tells Waverly "that looks good on you" and 2 times Waverly tells Nicole, but not in that order.
> 
> Also, canon is canon and this... strays.

i.

Nicole is playing Desk Sergeant for the night ("Job experience," she tells her parents on the phone) when the door to the Black Badge Division bangs open. Nicole's hand is already reaching for her holster but she sits back in her seat when she sees it's just the Earp women.

And they seem to be drunk.

Nicole leans forward, interested. She's no stranger to intoxicated-Wynonna. But Waverly is still so _new_ to her, there are still things she wants to learn.

How Waverly handles her alcohol is definitely on that list.

Waverly sees her and instantly smiles. "Officer Haught!"

Wynonna turns too fast and Nicole sees her eyes roll as she tries to focus her gaze. "Officer Haught-pants."

Waverly slaps Wynonna on the arm. "Just Haught."

"I know I am but what are you," Wynonna fires back. She sticks her tongue out and stumbles back into a desk.

Nicole hops down from her seat and comes out from around the desk. "Ladies, you know being drunk in public is called public intoxication. And that it's a _crime_ , right?"

Wynonna throws an arm out in a wide arc. "Well it's a good thing we're not in public."

Nicole snorts. "You're in a police station. Which might actually make this whole thing worse."

"Hey, wait a minute," Wynonna argues. She narrows her eyes and sticks a crooked finger in Nicole's face, nearly poking her in the eye. "You and I got drunk together. At your desk!"

"You did?" Waverly asks quietly.

Nicole turns. Arguing with Wynonna, she had almost forgotten Waverly was still standing there, her crop top slightly crooked and the hat on her head-

"Is that Doc's hat?"

Waverly smiles crookedly, pushing the hat back so Nicole can see her whole face. "I won it. In poker!" She raises a hand in victory and laughs such a pretty laugh that Nicole's heart skips. "Just like the Poker Spectacular! Well," she frowns. "I didn't win the Poker Spectacular, but I won _other_ things." She tries to do something with her eyebrows but she sighs and gives up.

Nicole flushes. She remembers exactly what Waverly is talking about. Her mind flashes back to Waverly in that sparkly top, sitting on her couch, twisting her fingers in the fabric of Nicole's t-shirt as she shifted up and onto her knees. She feels herself start to sweat and she pulls uselessly at her collar.

"You suck at Poker," Wynonna cuts in. "I won. I just gave her the hat because she begged me."

Nicole's face grows hotter. She gulps, her throat dry.

Wynonna picks up a stack of files on the desk and shoves them out of the way. She jumps up, misjudges the distance, and falls to the ground. "And the judges say... a 10!" She declares.

Waverly is still staring at Nicole, smiling now. Nicole barely notices Wynonna on the floor.

"S'fine. Leave me here," Wynonna declares.

Waverly steps over Wynonna on the floor and grabs Nicole by the shirt sleeve. "We'll be right back." She tugs Nicole down the hall a little and looks back. "Research!"

Nicole doesn't hear Wynonna's response, too focused on Waverly's hand on her arm, that hat on her head. She follows Waverly past Nedley's office and into the small conference room they use for staff meetings. Waverly shuts the door behind them and Nicole stumbles as Waverly shoves her lightly towards the table in the middle of the room.

"You like my hat?" she asks, pulling it low over her eyes. She underestimates her strength and pulls it too far down. It sticks for a moment before she gets it back up high on her forehead.

Nicole crosses the distance between them quickly and by the time Waverly can see again, Nicole is in front of her. She slides her hands around Waverly's waist, lacing them loosely behind her back. She leans back to accommodate for the brims of both of their hats.

"I'm actually pretty good at Poker," Nicole says casually. "I know I didn't go to the Poker Spectacular but I'm sure I would have done well."

Waverly smirks at her, her smile just a little slow. "Maybe we can play, then. Because I am really, really bad."

Nicole's face flushes again but she doesn't try to hide in the darkness of the conference room, Waverly her only audience. "Maybe we can raise the stakes."

"We can play... Omaha," Waverly asks, her smirk giving away her words.

"There're other types of poker we can play," Nicole says, her fingers working their way up Waverly's back.

"Texas."

"Maybe."

"5-Card Stud," Waverly offers.

"Or..." Nicole leans in and presses a kiss to Waverly's cheek. She moves back, her teeth nipping at Waverly's ear. She bites down again when Waverly's body presses minutely against hers.

" _Or_..." Waverly echoes, her voice dropping off when Nicole's hand slides up her spine. She clears her throat. "Or, uh... There's always, uh, strip poker," she finally says.

Nicole grins, her smile pressed into Waverly's neck. "Now that sounds like a good time." She urges Waverly back and up until Waverly is sitting on the conference table, smiling up at her. "This hat looks good on you," she says.

Waverly tips the hat clumsily and Nicole's heart swells. She pushes Doc's hat off Waverly's head.

"Hey," Waverly protests.

But Nicole reaches for her own head, taking her hat off and placing it gently on Waverly's head. She tugs it down snugly and steps back, studying Waverly. "There," she declares.

Waverly turns her head slightly, lifting her chin into the air. "How's it look?"

Nicole steps back and takes it all in: Waverly sitting on a conference table, grinning a smile tinted with just a hint of whiskey, eyes sparkling, and Nicole's hat on her head.

There are no words Nicole can think of to explain how her stomach does backflips and her heart clenches. They stick in her throat and Waverly is staring at her, waiting, and there are so many things she wants to say but she swallows and says: "It looks good on you."

Waverly beams.

"God," Wynonna groans from the doorway. "Turn off your sunlight smile, would ya? It's hurting my eyes."

Waverly jumps off the table and pushes past Nicole, sliding up under Wynonna's arm to support her.

"Bye, Officer Haughtsauce," Wynonna calls as they turn and head towards the exit.

Waverly looks back over Wynonna's shoulder and smiles at her. "Bye, Nicole," she says softly.

Nicole waves. "Bye," she breathes out. She watches them round the corner and reaches up to adjust her hat. She pauses. "Wave," she calls. "My..." she sighs and picks up Doc's hat from the table, gripping it tight.

Well, damn.

 

  
ii.

Nicole has never prescribed to overly romantic notions. Okay, she watches Lifetime movies but mostly because she likes the crime ones ( _the husband always did it_ ) and sometimes watching something _predictable_ is comforting. This crazy world she's dived into - this Earp-led insanity she happily submerged herself in - never makes sense. The easy pacing of made for TV movies calms her down, even if all the cheesy one-liners and heavy subtext makes her nauseous.

Waverly Earp coming down the stairs in that blue taffeta dress is every Lifetime movie she's ever seen

For a moment, she forgets they're at a party and there's at least 15 people between them and that somewhere, Champ is drinking and glaring at them. She forgets that she's wearing this silly purple dress. She forgets Willa saw them in the barn. She forgets there's so many secrets between them still. She forgets how her wrist still aches, how she can't look Jack Kearney in the eye at the station.

She only sees Waverly, coming down the staircase.

She hears "Kiss Me" in her head.

She ducks her head and smiles and she feels too corny, too scripted, but she can't stop herself.

"You," she breathes out, "are a vision."

Waverly scoffs but she smile stays firmly in place. "Oh, please. I didn't even have time to accessorize."

Nicole is already unclasping the metal around her wrist. "See, I _knew_ I wore this bracelet for a reason," she teases.

Waverly puts her arm out, her palm up. Nicole loops the gold chain around Waverly's wrist, her fingertips lingering on Waverly's bare skin. She flashes back to the barn and the heat of Waverly's skin and the fierceness of her kisses. Waverly's knuckles press against the flat of Nicole's stomach.

"Hey," Waverly breathes out. "If we get out of here, we are getting dressed up way more often."

Nicole smiles, confused. "What do you mean _if_ we get out of here?"

"Just... Stay by the exits, okay?"

Nicole sees Willa over Waverly's and her shoulders sag a little. Her earlier anger comes back in a small burst she's not expecting and it blooms deep in her chest. There's something about Willa she doesn't like. It's not just that she's totally unused to the rules of social expectations; Nicole can get around that. There's something else underneath her "I've been away from people for so long" veil that Nicole doesn't like, something she can't explain. And trying to tell Waverly or Wynonna is worthless. They think the ground opened up, spit out their beloved sister, and won't even entertain the idea that whoever set her free isn't on their side.

Nicole scoffs, looking over Waverly's shoulder. "Willa," she says.

Waverly looks back. Nicole takes some pleasure in the fact that Waverly's shoulders drop but it doesn't linger. Waverly gives her a soft smile, looks Nicole up and down once more, and starts towards the stairs.

Nicole reaches out a moment too late, her fingertips brushing against Waverly's arm. Waverly turns still, her eyes wide and expectant.

"I just..." Nicole suddenly feels silly. She smiles and looks down. "That dress. It looks really good on you."

"Get used to it," Waverly fires back. She winks and slides through the crowd.

Nicole watches her go

Lifetime movies make so much sense now.

 

  
iii.

Time slows.

Nicole is watching everything in slow motion: the gun in Willa's hand, Wynonna's confused glances between Waverly and Willa, Waverly and Wynonna's debate, Waverly's eyes filling with tears, _Waverly_.

She's been in standoffs before. The Academy and just last week out on Henry Foley's property. But this is the first she's been the target, the first time she's been the one they're standing off over.

And time slows and she can hear her heart pounding in her ears and her stomach is in her throat and she wonders if she turned off the stove before she left the house. Did she feed the cat? Will someone go back for her? Who will call her Mom? Will they bury her in Purgatory or send her body back to Alberta? She promised her nephew she would teach him how to shoot a gun. God, who will tell her nephew? He's only six. He thinks she's out in Purgatory playing Cops and Robbers but that she's coming home at Christmastime, but what if she-

"Wynonna, she'll do it," she hears Waverly say.

"Waverly," she says, eyes darting to Waverly before going back to Willa.

She can't turn her brain off. The mail will pile up. And she ordered some things on Amazon last night - a new juicer and a book she thought Waverly might like.

"If I don't have it in 3..."

"No, please," Waverly says, her voice breaking.

"It's the only thing that will stop Bobo," Wynonna says.

She's only 23. She's never jumped out of a plane at 1500 feet. She's never scuba dived off the coast. She hasn't even really loved a girl - she thinks maybe she could really, really love Waverly.

"Two," Willa continues.

"Wynonna," Waverly pleads.

"I can't."

Wynonna can't. Rational-Nicole, the one who can talk down drunk men with shotguns and stop fights on the basketball courts during pickup games, she can understand this. Wynonna can't. She can't negotiate with terrorists. And Willa is a textbook case of someone using unlawful violence in pursuit of political gains.

 _Officer Haught_ understands that.

 _Nicole_ is freaking out.

God, she can't remember the last time she called her grandfather.

" _Please_ ," she hears Waverly gasp. She says something else, something Nicole can't hear, but Wynonna hears it.

"One," Willa says.

She cocks the gun.

Nicole closes her eyes and thinks, _I wish I had more time to love you, Waverly Earp_.

Time slows and Nicole waits for the punch to the gut but all she hears is Wynonna.

"Okay. Okay!"

Nicole's eyes spring open to see Willa reach out for Peacemaker. She can see Waverly's shoulders sag in relief.

"So naive. So emotional," Willa says. Her eyes burn with unwavering disgust.

"This isn't over. I'm coming for you," Wynonna promises.

Willa's lips twitch. "Then I better slow you down."

The gun comes up and she fires, square into Nicole's chest. She feels it ripple through her, a small burst of pain from her sternum to her spinal column. It throws her backwards against the doorjamb and she drops heavily to the floor. She can hear Waverly scream and the sound of someone walking by, not slowing down as they move past her.

She's sure Willa fires off a one-liner as she leaves; the Earps are nothing if not witty. But the pain in her chest is blinding her and there's a roar in her ears unlike anything she's ever heard and then Waverly is there, pulling at her collar, hands hot on Nicole's skin, rolling her over.

"I'm here," Waverly sobs.

"I want," Nicole tries to say.

Waverly talks over her, hands skimming across Nicole's cheeks, lacing behind her neck briefly. "I know, I know."

"No blood," Wynonna says from somewhere above her. "There's no blood!"

A leg slides under her head and she tries to look up, her eyes unfocused. She can make out Waverly'a dress, though, and the hands on her face are familiar.

"My sister joined he dark side. If you've been a Revenant this whole time, I'm just gonna call out sick tomorrow," Wynonna growls.

"She's not," Waverly says, her voice choking on the words.

"No, I'm..." Nicole starts. She wants to tell them, but Wynonna is already gripping the edges of her jacket tight, ready to pull. Buttons fly off in every direction and the bullet lodged in her vest clatters to the floor. "Wearing a bulletproof vest," she finishes.

Waverly gasps in relief, leaning down and pressing her forehead into Nicole's shoulder. It's a different kind of pressure, the kind she craves.

"It's kind of standard operating procedure when we've got a 404 on our hands." She takes their blank look at face value. "A bunch of crazy hicks off their rocker?"

Waverly smiles, her eyes still watery, and Wynonna calls her smart. Well, she calls Champ dumb, really. But Nicole figures either of those things is a win in her book.

And then Waverly is kissing her, hard. Her hand goes to Waverly's wrist, holding her closer. Her body aches from the effort but Waverly's kiss can move mountains and she finds herself trying to sit, their lips still fused together.

"A bulletproof vest," Waverly mumbles into the kiss. She pushes Nicole back until she's sitting up against a counter.

"In this town, I'm surprised I don't wear it under everything."

Waverly smirks slightly, as if she's forgetting for a moment that they're town is under siege and the oldest Earp is batting cleanup for the wrong team. "I mean, as a safety measure, I agree. As your girlfriend -"

"Kind of girlfriend," Nicole interrupts, unable to resist.

Waverly's face crumbles and Nicole waves away her apology. "As my girlfriend, what?" she prompts.

"As your girlfriend," Waverly repeats after a long moment. Her voice goes soft and her eyes goes softer and she's looking at Nicole in a way that makes the pain fade. "As your girlfriend, it looks good on you," she whispers.

She kisses Nicole again, softly this time.

Then Wynonna is hollering at them from the hallway and Waverly is staring at her and Nicole is shaking her off, telling her to go, go, go.

 

  
iv.

Nicole's phone rings for the fifth time. She fumbles with the switch and turns it onto vibrate, feeling it against her side. It quiets and she sighs in relief. The moment is short-lived. It starts against almost immediately and she growls, pulling it out and looking at the ID. _Wynonna_ , again. She declines the call and turns off her phone, sliding it back into her pocket.

She checks the safety on her rifle and scans the deserted street. Dolls had given her a badge, pressed it tightly into her hand, and told her she was officially being named the Sheriff's Department liaison to the Black Badge Division. It was anticlimactic, really. She had always had her hunches about Purgatory's strangeness but having them confirmed, at the expense of her life and Waverly's, had taken the excitement out of everything.

Being deputized at four in the morning after a report of Waverly - _no_ , not Waverly, but whatever had possessed her - destroying a storefront on Main Street hadn't been the pomp and circumstance she had been hoping for. She's still wearing a t-shirt under her Purgatory Sheriff's Department-issue jacket and her hair is wild from a restless night of tossing and turning.

"Officer Haught."

She freezes, her hand on the trigger. Slowly, she flips the safety and turns to face the shadows behind her.

"Ah, ah, Officer. Or is it Deputy Marshall, now?"

Nicole levels the gun against her shoulder. "Coward," she calls into the darkness.

The shadows laugh. There's a twinkle of Waverly's laugh, the one Nicole memorized, running through it. But it's still a hollow, loud laugh that makes her blood stop and then run cold. "You're the coward, Deputy Marshall. Failing to accept the reality of this situation, trying to fight it. That's cowardice."

"Possessing unsuspecting women is cowardly," she fires back, her gun swinging side to side as she backs up slowly towards the middle of Main Street.

"Unsuspecting," it scoffs. "You should get your facts straight."

Nicole's feet wander off the curb and she stumbles slightly before righting herself. The shadow is quick, though, and when she manages to pull her gun back up to her shoulder, that _thing_ in Waverly's body is right in front of her.

"Hi, Nicole," it breathes out.

Nicole refuses to meet its eyes. She saw what it did to Wynonna, how it got Wynonna to trust it; how it took shooting Dolls through the shoulder before Wynonna realized she was being played. Nicole won't fall for that same trick. It looks like Waverly. It talks like Waverly. But it doesn't smell like Waverly smells. It doesn't laugh like Waverly laughs. It doesn't smile or twist its hands nervously or even walk like Waverly walks.

Nicole has spent her whole life in Purgatory cataloging those exact things about Waverly Earp and this thing, this shadow, this demon - it will never be Waverly.

She takes a deep breath, her finger on the trigger. "I'll -"

"What?" it asks, slinking closer. "Shoot me? Poor ol' me? You'd put a bullet in your own girlfriend?"

"You're not Waverly," Nicole says through gritted teeth.

It comes closer, its breath hot against Nicole's cheek. "I'm everything Waverly has ever wanted to be."

Nicole quick steps back, pressing the butt of her rifle against its shoulder. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Something happens to Waverly's body. There's a shift in her shoulders and her neck cranes to one side. Her hands clench into fists and then relax again. "Nicole?"

Nicole finally meets Waverly's eyes. "Waves?"

It sounds like Waverly now. It frowns like Waverly does and reaches up hesitantly for Nicole's hand like Waverly has. Nicole eyes her warily, her rifle still aimed, but Waverly shakes her head until her hazel eyes look familiar again.

"Nicole, what's going on?" she asks quietly. "Why are you... How come you have gun on me?

Nicole quickly puts her gun down and grabs Waverly by the shoulders, holding Waverly still. "Waverly, listen -"

Waverly looks down. "Is that a Black Badge?" She looks back up and her eyes are bright, excited. Nicole feels a warmth blooming in her chest. Those eyes. Those are _Waverly_ eyes.

"Dolls gave it to me. Official and everything," she manages to say around the lump in her throat.

Waverly reaches out and touches it gingerly. "Official," she echoes, her voice soft. "It looks good on you. I'm so proud of you, Nicole."

"Yeah?" Nicole asks, ducking her head.

Waverly smiles slowly. "Of course I am."

"Waverly," Nicole starts.

Wynonna comes flying around the corner, Peacemaker in hand. "Get back," she yells.

Nicole moves instinctively, stepping in front of Waverly. _It's Waverly_ , she wants to tell Wynonna. _Our Waverly_. She's so caught up in that thought, she doesn't feel the hand around her throat until it's too tight.

"Let her go," Wynonna demands.

The thing in Waverly's body laughs - deep and dark and cruel. "So easy to trick. The love struck ones alway are."

Wynonna calmly levels Peacemaker right at Nicole's heart. "I'll shoot you dead."

"Your own sister?" it asks. It clicks its tongue. "That shouldn't be surprising. You did kill your own father."

Wynonna cocks Peacemaker without blinking. "Final chance. Let her go."

"Or you kill us both?" It laughs. "Stupid pathetic humans and their silly ultimatums. Fine," it sighs. "Deputy Marshall Haught can live. For now." It slinks back into the shadows.

Nicole drops to her knees, gasping for air. One hand fumbles at her belt, tugging at the badge clipped there. She finally gets it loose and pulls hard. She hears the belt loop of her jeans rip but she doesn't care. She squeezes the badge so tightly she feels the edges cut into her palm. Wynonna is pulling her to her feet as she shoves the badge into her pocket, suddenly disgusted by idea of being a Deputy Marshall.

"Women," Wynonna says after a minute. She sniffs the air. "Women and sulfur." She doesn't wait for Nicole to say anything - she's perfectly Wynonna in that way - but she slides herself under Nicole's arm and helps her back onto the sidewalk. "I tried calling you but I think your phone is broken. We predicted she'd go after you next. Since, you know, she already went after me. Next time, think with your head and not your fun box, okay?"

Nicole nods her agreement and looks back into the shadows, hoping for any sign of Waverly.

The shadows stare back at her.

 

  
v.

Nicole inhales sharply.

She's been running her hands through Waverly's hair, twisting strands together and untwisting them mindlessly. The TV she moved into Waverly's room drones on in the corner and the book she started is still open to page 10 on the bedspread. She's thinking about changing the channel, maybe find a hockey game, when Waverly shifts under her hand.

"I don't want to watch hockey," Waverly mumbles.

Nicole startles, her hand slipping through Waverly's hair. "Shit," she hisses, fingers tangled in a small knot. "You're awake."

"You're smart," Waverly mumbles, her eyes flickering open. "You're also warm. Why're you so warm?" She burrows even further into Nicole's arms. "Please no more hockey."

"I haven't even watched that much," Nicole tries to argue. She knows it a lie; she's been alternating between news channels and the Senators home games. "How did you know that?"

Waverly's eyes flicker open until they clear and she shrugs a little, her shoulder digging into Nicole's sternum. "I don't know. I think I've been going in and out? I remember Wynonna being here. And Doc and Dolls and..." She frowns. "And Champ?"

Nicole nods. "He wanted to apologize for what he said. About us. Though, I don't think it was his decision."

Waverly smiles softly. "Wynonna never liked him."

Nicole's eyes widen. "Wynonna. Let me get her." She tries to shift Waverly out of her arms but Waverly shakes her head.

"No. Please, just... wait?"

Nicole settles back down, pulling Waverly back against her. "Yeah. We can," she says quietly. She runs her fingertips up and down Waverly's arms. "I missed you."

Waverly nuzzles into her. "Note to self," she says sleepily. "Don't touch the goo."

Nicole laughs gently like this hasn't been the hardest month of her life. She laughs like she hasn't spent every moment not on duty in this tiny room, waiting for Waverly to wake up; like watching Wynonna float through rooms in search of more whisky hasn't been hard to watch; like cleaning up the mess of that night hasn't taken them so long.

"I'm sorry."

She feels the words against her best more than she hears them. But they hit her in the gut just the same. "Oh, Waverly."

"It was speaking to me," Waverly continues. "I was hearing this weird whispering, like it was calling me closer. And I knelt down and it was right there and it sounded... so familiar. I just..." Waverly shakes her head, her voice hardening. "I shouldn't have listened. I shouldn't have touched it. I knew it."

"You couldn't have known," Nicole tries.

"It told me. It told me I could be strong. It told me it would make me better. It would make me worthy."

Nicole brushes some hair out of Waverly's eyes. "You _are_ worthy."

"I've never been," Waverly breathes out.

It infuriates Nicole. It makes her blood boil. "Yes, you are, Waverly Earp."

Nicole sees something flash in Waverly's eyes, something Nicole can't put a name to, and then Waverly is gritting her teeth. "Waverly. Just... _just_ Waverly. Okay?"

Nicole nods immediately. Waverly grips her tighter. "Just Waverly." She presses a kiss to the top of Waverly's head, lingering a moment. "Just Waverly," she repeats.

Waverly pulls back enough to look up at Nicole. Her eyes are wide and wet at the edges and so shiny, so hopeful. "Is that okay?" she asks, her voice small.

"Oh, _baby_ ," Nicole breathes out, her arms going tighter around Waverly. "Of course it's okay. You can be whoever you want to be."

Waverly heaves a shaky sigh, dissolving into tears at the end of it. Her whole body shakes in Nicole's arms. Nicole squeezes, just slightly, and Waverly sobs harder, her dulled fingernails digging into Nicole's arm. "I just want to be Waverly," she manages.

Nicole nods and kisses the crown of Waverly's head again. "Just Waverly. That's okay." She pulls back slightly, eyes searching Waverly's face. "Yeah. Just Waverly." She smiles widely. "It looks good on you."

Waverly takes a shuddering breath and settles back against Nicole's chest, tucking herself under Nicole's chin.

Nicole breathes out.


End file.
